We have celebrations, festivals, special days to celebrate gay pride, African Americans, to honor veterans and much more. This is good that we do this (Be proud of who you are and we are glad to praise you for it). What, however about those of us who are in the category of single.? Do we have a day, a celebration of sorts? Some would say Valentines is a day of love for all but lets face it, Valentines is a day for lovers. Everything is geared towards that. Cards confessing their undying love for one another and men getting down on one knee to propose to their soul mate. There are cards for parents to kids and vice versa but there is no hey I know you are single and it sucks but I love you or how about a card that says: to us single people, lets celebrate that we don’t have to fight over who gets the remote. A lot of our society is based on two. Hotels for instance give you a lower rate if there is double occupancy, and cruises are much cheaper if you have another person with you.
So back to the subject at hand: A single people celebration. Just imagine booths lined up for all the different types of singles. The hook up booty call booth where you can get all the latest information on where to score, hot clubs, websites and apps (or maybe you could get a phone number right thereJ), next to that will be a safe sex booth where you can be aids tested, get free condoms and information on websites and organizations that help with health issues. There can be a single and damn proud of it booth where they video tape proud singles talking about why they enjoy there singleness (no having to see someone on the toilet in the morning and the smell that comes after they leave that bathroom). A booth for gay singles, different nationalities, and cultures too. Booths for single and in the service, single and professional, single with children. Just face it there are singles everywhere and the booths could be endless. And yes a booth for singles that are looking not to be single…(that is okay, I understand you may want someone warm and cuddly to wrap your arms at night and fluffy the cat just isn’t cutting it). Wedding magazines, dating websites and of course match.com and eHarmony will be on hand to promote their sites. You can practice throwing the bouquet at this booth or make a wedding dress out of ribbons, fake flowers and toilet paper.
What sort of celebration would it be if there wasn’t some entertainment. A kissing booth, singles karaoke, bingo and a comedian who tells jokes about the tragedies, joys and confusion of being single. The grand finale of course as in most festivals is a parade. There is a singer who walks the path singing Miss Independent by Kelly Clarkson, the party float where happy drunk single people throw out condoms, their phone numbers and red heart lollipops that say enjoy your singleness today, there is a float of singles who are soon not to be single, (hey we aren’t prejudice and celebrate the couples of the world too), and what parade isn’t complete without a big finish, (no it isn’t Santa Claus), it is none other than George Clooney who has professed never to marry again and is the ultimate bachelor sitting in a large red velvet thrown, as onlookers both men and women wave and cheer him on.
Single isn’t always an easy thing to celebrate and sometimes it takes strength to get through lonely nights but that is all the more reason to have a day to celebrate it. Okay who has George’s phone number?